The Connection Codes are a way of life- a means of connecting us to our own hearts and the hearts of those around us. The Connection Codes provide the tools and the language to get to the heart of the matter. They free us from our prisons of fear and shame and heal wounds inflicted by disregard, psychological isolation, and miscommunication.
We all feel. But many of us have been taught that emotions are a sign of weakness, of brokenness and something of which to be ashamed. The Connection Codes give us a new lense through which to see emotion. Emotions are not bad. Emotions are not a sign of weakness. Emotions are a human experience and each emotion serves a purpose. Emotions are the great lost goldmine of relational connection. Without emotion, there is no connection, no compassion, no empathy. The key to mental and emotional health and having healthy relationships is learning how to effectively process emotion. Effectively processing emotion allows us to learn, to grow, to connect and to experience deep and lasting joy. The Connection Codes provide the tools needed to effectively process emotion.
We all need connection. We all need relationship. We all need a safe place where we can feel heard. The Connection Codes are a blueprint that show us how to connect, how to build healthy relationships, how to become safe places for each other and really hear each other.
The Connection Codes will be a complete paradigm shift for many. The Connection Codes show us the importance of truths such as:
- Identity is the #1, fundamental, foundational human need, more important than food, water, oxygen and even safety. (Identity = Do I matter? Am I enough?)
- We are coded to move toward kindness and away from unkindness.
- For connection to happen, we have to be able to get yes answers to these two questions: (1) Will you be there for me? (2) Am I good enough for you?
- Every relationship has a cycle- the goal is to keep the cycle from becoming a cyclone. (Neither you or your partner/friend are the enemy. The cyclone is the enemy.)
- Emotions happen to you- you are responsible for your next action. (Anger is biological; yelling is optional.)
- The brain does not distinguish between emotional pain and physical pain. ("Just stop being sad!" is to emotional wounds as "Just stop bleeding!" is to physical wounds.)
- You cannot out logistic emotion- yours or anyone else's. (The less we resist emotion and the more we regard and validate it, the more efficiently we process it.)
- Intense emotion shuts down cognition.
We have been married for fourteen years and have four children who were 3, 5, 8 and 11 when we began learning about the Connection Codes in January of this year. Through the quick and consistent implementation of the Connection Codes, in our home we have-
- eliminated tantrums.
- minimized tearful meltdowns.
- learned to process chronic, crippling anxiety.
- learned how to resolve marital hurts and disagreements in minutes or seconds instead of hours or days.
- improved parent/child connection and communication.
- improved connection and communication with friends and extended family.
- improved our ability to hear and empathize with each other.
- improved work tensions and relationships.
After a full year of experiencing life with the Connection Codes, we believe there is no better gift you could give yourself and your loved ones in the new year. May 2018 be a year of healing and connection for you and yours.